Pearls of wisdom

Brides of all generations offer their top tips for a successful wedding day and a happy ever after...

You're the bride, your wedding day is looming, and frankly you're terrified. So who better to reassure you than this host of happily married women who've been there before you?

From newlyweds to those celebrating their golden anniversary, here are their gems of wedding wisdom to pass on to the next generation of wedding belles...

"An engagement is supposed to be an exciting time, instead, I spent the whole time panicking about the wedding list, my mother's outfit and whether the bridesmaids' shoes were the right colour. I saw less and less of my fiancι and became increasingly frazzled. I say try not to let the minute details become all-consuming. Instead, delegate to friends and relatives and enjoy this magical time feeling very much in love with your partner."
Hatty Madden, 30, publicist, married 6 months

"In the midst of all the excitement and emotion, make a conscious effort to spend some quality time with your new husband. What with chatting to every guest, it's easy not to see him all day – which isn't really the point! Make sure that years after the event, you both share the same special memories of the day together."
Alison Smith, 65, social worker, married 37 years

"I would have done lots differently with hindsight. Our wedding was hijacked by our parents! My mother went into overdrive and really pushed us towards a traditional do. We felt we had to do it the proper way with a proper dress, marquee etc. If I had the chance to do it again, I would be more inventive. I'd invite people I liked rather than those out of duty. Loosen up, relax and do it how YOU want it – not how your parents or his parents tell you."
Jane Alexander, 39, journalist, married 5 years

"Don't worry about being too bossy or opinionated when you are organising your wedding. Keep pictures of flowers/table settings/hairstyles/photography that you like in a file and you'll have a visual reference to show people. If people don't listen to what you are asking for, use someone else instead – you are paying large amounts of money and everything should be the way you want it, not to some else's taste."
Julia Piper, 32, artist, married 8 years

"Wear your shoes around the house before the big day to wear them in. I didn't and discovered that wearing agonising new shoes and trying to look serene and beautiful at the same time is hard work! If you're scared of getting ivory satin shoes dirty put a pair of clean pop socks over them to protect them."
Annabel Clarke, 33, editor, married 3 years

"Be aware of becoming a prima donna and prone to temper tantrums as you obsess over the tiniest details. Remember that a wedding should be a happy occasion for family and friends – after all, that's why you want to celebrate your relationship publicly. Try and relax your rigid concepts of The Dream Day and you'll be amazed how much more smoothly everything runs."
Jane Ross Macdonald, 36, mother, married 6 years

"People take hundreds and hundreds of pictures of you all day long! There's nothing worse than returning from your honeymoon to be greeted by photos of you looking like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, so remember to stand up straight and put your head back (no double-chinned pics please) and smile! And my top tip – have a glass of Champagne before you walk up the aisle – it relaxes you beautifully!"
Liz Dawson, 38, publicist, married 6 years

"If you're planning to have a DJ, compile a play list before the wedding. That way, you avoid the horror of having to listen to trendy techno tunes all night. Remember you want your granny and your ten-year-old niece to enjoy the dancing, as much as your mates. Play a variety of styles of music and include old favourites such as Abba."
Mary Raikes, 34, teacher, married 6 years

"If you're worried about keeping a clear head, but don't want to seem like a party pooper by refusing glasses of Champagne, fill your glass with ginger beer instead. No one will notice the difference!"
Karyn Poole-Connor, 29,graphic designer, married 4 years

"Remember, marriage is not just about taking on your partner, but his entire family as well. Be prepared for a period of adjustment. If you have difficult in-laws, devise strategies for coping with them."
Sarah Hoult, 46, nurse, married 20 years

"Relationships change enormously. I am a very different person at 70 to the girl I was at 20. My marriage has gone through ups and downs like friendships do. Work at it and enjoy the changes. I've fallen in love many times over with my husband and have learnt a huge amount about myself."
Anne Laird, 70, housewife, married 51 years

"Marriage doesn't mean being joined at the hip. Never be overly dependent on your partner – always maintain your own hobbies and friendships, as well as those you share with your husband. This will make you a stronger as a couple."
Helen Goodwin, 52, social worker, married 27 years

"Make sure you choose a relaxing honeymoon! By the time we started ours, I was exhausted and ended up cancelling most of our pre-booked trips. Don't underestimate how tired you will feel, especially if you've had a large wedding."
Fiona Mcintosh, 39, publisher, married 2 years